I am at the International Lingerie Show in Las Vegas, but despite my best efforts, I can offer no conflicts. The best I got this morning was "Smart ass!" but the lady was smiling. People seem more friendly and calm than drugged-out and ranting—maybe I just have to get out of the hotel and hit the streets. Please accept the below boilerplate reportage as I continue my increasingly quixotic mission:
The show is full of overweight people,like this lady.
The models tend to not be quite so fat.
Penis-shaped food is popular,
as are tit-cakes.
I am present and accounted for.