See below brief redaction of near-misses from the past few weeks:
A man and woman, hitherto unacquainted, discoursed at the top of their lungs on every conceivable topic for seven straight hours while sitting just behind me on a trans-Atlantic flight:
"Oh, what about cereal. Do you like cereal?"
"What? Oh my god, no way! I love cereal!"
Thought: Kill kill kill
I was in Barcelona after a major home-town soccer victory over Manchester United. The streets were thronged with fans.
Drunken Spaniard (pointing into my chest): Man.... Manchester?
Me: No! Barsa, Barsa, Baaaaaarsa!
I was exiting the subway. A man with thinning blonde hair pushed his way ahead of me in line. I could see beads of sweat on his scalp.
Thought: Watch it, baldy!
I was biking fast through an intersection, my light was green, and a pedestrian strolled blithely into my path.
Thought: What the fuck is your problem?
Said: Good morning!
More on this story as it develops